[ Perseveration ]

It’s fitting that my family members and I (many of whom might deny this entirely) often find ourselves perseverating on trivial things.  It is after all a psychological term that when simplified means to fixate on something.  I say it’s “fitting” in purely an ironic sense— both of my parents are psychologists. 

A few years ago I found myself in my parent’s kitchen engaged in a conversation with my mother that I had heard at least 16 times before.  It’s understanding that my mother forgot.  My sisters and I, all four of us, call my mom at least 6 times a day, with conversations such as these:

• Sister 1:  Mom, what should I have for dinner? Mom:  I don’t know.  You’re 28 years old and 1000 miles away.  Sister 1: Silence.  Mom: I have to go, call waiting.
• Sister 2:  Hi Mom!  Mom:  (silence…which daughter is this?  Their voices all sound the same).  Sister 2: Mom! You said you’d call me back.  That was five hours ago!  Mom: Oh this is Kate!  Sister 2:  You didn’t even know who you were talking to? 
• Sister 3:  Mom, sister 1 just called to ask me what she should have for dinner!  Can you believe that??  Anyway, can you babysit?
• Sister 4:  Hi Mother, I see you called 25 times.  I wasn’t kidnapped, drugged, murdered, or eaten by a wolf.
• Sister 2:  Mommy, don’t forget the Bachelor is on tonight! 

Anyway, I digress.  Back to the kitchen where my mother was perseverating.  For the first 10 minutes of her asking me repeatedly, “no really, Kate, can you BELIEVE that??”  I solemnly repeated…”no mom, I can’t believe it.  Like I said before..I can’t believe it.”  This conversation continued with my obligatory “mmhmmms,” and “yeahs.”  Until finally, when she finished in exasperation, I uttered the words that would forever change my mother’s life.

I said to my mom slowly as if telling her my secret to inner-peace and understanding that I had a phrase I recently started saying that really helped explain life events.  Big and small.

Sometimes in life, (and here is where you fill in whatever it is that happened that seemed unreal, unfair, uncouth, uncool, or whatever your “un” may be). 

To be honest, I have no idea what event caused my mom to repeat her outrage a gazillion times, but that’s not the point.  What happened after I uttered “sometimes in life” to my mom was life-altering.  It was as if the world suddenly made sense to my mom.  She embraced it!  She was euphoric.  She kept repeating it.  “Sometimes in life,” she repeated slowly, as if learning new words for the first time.  Or as if she just discovered an explanation for all of life’s mysteries.  She rejoiced, “sometimes in life your daughter is a genius!”  Well, that part she didn’t say, but some things go without saying! 

I felt like the Dalai Lama.  Oprah better watch out - I just made my mom have an “aha” moment.  I had bestowed wisdom.